Making Marriage Work

That’s the name of the workshop we’re attending.  We went to our second session this past Tuesday and I gotta say, I’m really diggin’ it.

I sheepishly admit, I thought the concept of pre-marital counseling was dumb.  I didn’t see the value in it since the mister and I have been dating for six years. “What else could I learn about him? Clearly we’re doing something right if we’ve gotten this far,” I thought.  However, in the weeks after the proposal, we hit rough terrain.  We constantly fought, mostly about his family and their immense influence on him.  To say our communication was poor, is putting it lightly.

At the advice of my co-worker, and Ags (she is wise beyond her years), I looked into couples counseling.  I suppose I could have done Pre-Cana as I do identify myself as Catholic, but we’re not having a faith-based ceremony and I am not very active at my church so I felt uncomfortable going in that direction.

Somehow, I ended up looking up the options available at the JSSA (Jewish Social Services Agency) which has an office right by my house. Yes, you read right, Jewish Social Services.  Luckily, the counseling isn’t faith based and anyone is welcomed to attend.   I signed us up, and we just completed week 2 of 4.  The sessions are 2 hours long and there are two other couples in the class.  One couple are newlyweds, in the 40s, and its a second marriage for both of them. The other couple is younger, about our age, in their twenties, and are engaged.

So far, we’ve done activities like filling out surveys to find out what we value in relationships, family history/events that helped shape us as individuals, and most recently we’ve discussed communication and ways to improve it with your partner.

Both FI and I were pleasantly surprised to find the classes so informative, enriching, and truly enjoyable.  We are definitely strengthening the bond between us and are all the better for taking this course.

With that said, I highly recommend taking pre-marital counseling.  It gives you a moment to let it sink in, that marriage is going to be work, but it’s so worth it.

2 thoughts on “Making Marriage Work

  1. Maria @ Oh Healthy Day

    Maria, I just saw this post and I’m surprised I’d missed it before. As a counselor (or well, counseling graduate), I really admire the profession, YET I cannot get Brandon to go. He, like you did, believes that we’ve made it this far (over 7 years) and we don’t need it. Truth be told, we don’t argue that much, but we also don’t talk in depth on a lot of issues. If we do, it gets awkward for him or both of us and we let the conversation slide. I’m going to your experience with pre-martial counseling as another example of why we should go. Thank you so much for sharing!

    Obviously Ale was into or he wouldn’t be going…did you have to do any begging to get him to agree to go?


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